I went out to buy a new laptop today. On the way to the bus stop, I could hear bagpipes being played. At Future Shop, I met a very talkative 11th grader who wanted to go into politics. He plans to be Prime Minister, and do a much better job than Harperor Palpatine. On the bus ride home, the ceiling lights leaked a pale blue liquid on me. There was also a girl who fit the stereotypical description of a prostitute: overdone makeup, fishnets, etc. Upon exiting the bus, a man swerved on his bike to avoid running into me. In a cascade of mishaps, he crashed over onto his side, and upon righting himself, dropped his bag of beer cans, which exploded, spraying beer all over the sidewalk.

Help

I have been encouraged by my therapist to ask these questions, despite the fear of alienating people.

Friendships have always been a source of pain and frustration for me. I have lost many friends, the reasons for which are unknown to me; they just kinda went away. I would (I thought) be a good friend, initiating conversations, plans. It seemed I always ended up doing all the 'work' in the friendship, however. Eventually I would hear less and less from them...I've learned to give up trying to keep a friendship going after a certain amount of time. Friendships need participation from both sides, right?

More and more I wonder if I am the problem. Is it that I keep choosing the wrong kinds of people? In that case, why? Is it that I'm too negative? I think that I am more positive when in the company of friends. Perhaps it is due to my AS. Not always responding appropriately (physically), missing various social cues "neurotypicals" take for granted, could be off-putting? I truly do not know.

I am not trying to complain. I just would like to know what I am doing wrong (if anything) so I can begin to work on it.